10 Very Important Lessons that Anson Has Taught Me

I am so thankful for the past five years that I have been given with my other half. I have grown as a person because of him and he has taught me crucial lessons that everyone should mindfully practice and embody. Everybody deserves to have at least one person like him in their lives, because he will sincerely make the world better for them. For the sake of being mushy on our 5 year anniversary, and because I miss him like crazy during his deployment, I thought I would utilize my blog to share 10 very important lessons that Anson has taught me over the years.

1. He taught me to laugh most things off.

He is so admirable at this. Things don't always go our way. Life can be relentless and arbitrary; we all know this. People can be vile. Sometimes bad things happen to good people. Anson has never played victim to any of life's cruelties. He accepts the fact that periodically, he will encounter evil, ignorant, selfish people and that sometimes he'll be dealt an unlucky hand. Instead of complaining about it, getting down on life or retaliating... he's the type of guy that will laugh it off and walk away. He realizes he can't change everything. He can't change people or his circumstances at times, but he can influence the way he carries himself. So he chooses to make the best of every situation. And this is so inspiring.

2. He taught me to be selfless.

Anson is indeed the most selfless person I've ever known. I can't recall the last time he put himself first. He's constantly striving to help others out and goes out of his way to ensure the people he cares about are taken care of. He is the type of man that would give you the shirt off his back in the street. He would make sure a stranger could be fed before he is. One recent example of his selflessness was when I had a very blonde and irresponsible moment a few weeks ago. Anson and I have always "fought" on road trips about stopping for gas when the light comes on. He prefers to stop the second the gas light signals, and I always counter him that we have plenty of time. This has been going on for years. Well, my stubbornness caught up to me and I ran out of gas a couple weeks ago at a busy intersection. Completely deserving, I was not looking forward to telling him because it was a major "I told you so" moment favoring him. But what was the first thing he said when I told him? "Are you okay!?" He never once rubbed it in. Shoot. He's a much better person than I am because if the roles were reversed, I would have been cocky as hell off the bat lol.

Another major example of his selflessness has been shown through his deployment. The biggest lesson I've learned from being an "army wife", so to speak, is that when it comes down to it, it's not about me. When I first found out he was getting deployed, I was distressed not only for him, but for myself. I moved to Florida, away from my family and friends, and he was leaving the country for more than half the year. What was I going to do? He was the one deploying and he was never once placed focus on himself. He encouraged me to go on a girl's trip, to go out with my friends and to do things to occupy my time. He's done nothing but encourage me to have fun while he's away. Meanwhile, he's overseas stuck on the same base in a desert for months on end. He's the one that's resigned to eating crappy food, having limited entertainment, working long days and is confined in a seemingly endless routine. He's doing a job that most of us couldn't imagine having to do. And through all of that, he's been nothing but selfless and supportive of me.

3. He taught me the importance of keeping in touch with those that matter to us.

This is a really important one to me, and I don't think he even realizes how much he's inspired me to change in this aspect. Anson has always placed a high importance on maintaining the essential relationships in his life. Whether that be with his family, friends or someone he was an acquaintance with 8 years ago, he does his best to reach out to people. I've always been big on family, but not going to lie, I used to be really poor in some of my friendships. When I graduated high school and left for college, I didn't keep in touch with hardly anyone I went to high school with. Not because I didn't care anymore and not because I felt I had moved on to bigger and better things, but because I got lazy. Anytime I went home, I spent my breaks with family and never made an attempt to reach out to old friends. I grew distant from others because I stopped putting in the effort. I failed to pick up the phone and shoot friends a text once in awhile to see how life's been. Something so simple.

Anson is remarkable at this. Even if he hasn't talked to an old friend for some time, he'll still give them a call on their birthday to wish them well. Even if he hasn't seen a person in years, but if he knows he'll be in their area, he'll make attempts to reconnect and meet up with them. Even if it's a cousin that he was never really that close with, he would still drop everything to be there for them, because they're family. He's taught me that family is just that... family. No matter the differences, no matter anything that may have happened in the past, family will forever be there. And he would do anything for his family, and this was a huge lesson for me that I've grown to greatly appreciate.

For these reasons, he has so many great relationships in his life. Everybody loves Anson. Nobody can honestly speak bad of him because he's just a genuinely good guy that gives a crap about people. Biases aside, everyone should have a person like him in their lives.

4. He taught me that I can't change people.

This was a hard lesson for me to swallow for a long time. I am very accepting of everyone's beliefs; I'm open to new ideas and the sharing of opinions. However, I am also very strong in some of my beliefs due to my life experiences and I occasionally believe my opinion is more knowledgeable than others. However, just as I won't budge in some of my feelings, nor will other people. And I've wasted too much time thinking I could change others' perspectives. This has only contributed to added life stress and too many wasted efforts spent on figuring out how I can sway people to see things from my point of view. This isn't really a desirable way to spend my days. Anson sees things at face value. He's good at reading people. He knows who he can have a rational, educated discussion with, and who is unwilling to expand their horizons. He gets that flat earth-ers are a lost cause lol. And he accepts whatever the outcome. He doesn't lose friendships over indifferences and he doesn't let others' opinions take a toll on his well-being.

5. He taught me to see the silver lining in literally everything.

Every negative thing that has presented itself in his life, he has turned it around and put a positive spin on it or at least hoped for the best. He always thinks about what can go right versus what can go wrong. He is the definition of a glass half full-er. This is an amazing quality that is hard for anybody to possess, and it's so enriching to have that in a life partner. Any worry I've ever had, I know I can go to him with it and walk away feeling better. He truly makes me see the good in everything.

6. He taught me the importance of living in the now.

I used to be so caught up in spending every day planning for my future. Now, there's a lot of good in this, too. But it can easily be overdone. I used to work so hard in numerous jobs, but then never spent any of my money because I was focused on saving it. I used to never take unnecessary days off. I used to be so wrapped up in doing every little thing that would set me up for life in my 30's and 40's rather than worrying about how I was doing in my teens and 20's. I always thought I had time, and if I wasn't cherishing every ounce of my life presently, it would be okay... because I could later. Anson showed me what it's like to live in the moment. He helped me develop into a more well-rounded individual. He gave me the courage to take chances, to become a traveler and adventurer. I don't let little events ruin my entire outlook on life. When I didn't get into my grad program on the first round, I was actually able to step back and realize it would be okay, because I could revamp my plans and still live a life that I wanted. I've been more headstrong about being spontaneous, ensuring I heed opportunities as they're presented, rather than wait. It's really true that tomorrow could be too late. He's experienced more loss than I have, but when I lost a few friends of mine at a young age, I realized that waiting isn't worth it. At any moment, everything could change and I don't want to be weighed with regret. So I've not only set myself up for my future but I've lived every moment of my life in the present, and I couldn't be happier with where I am today.

7. He taught me to stop caring so much about what others think.

Granted, to some extent, everyone cares a little bit about others' perception of them. But this used to be a bigger deal to me than it should have been. I would worry so much about doing things that my parents, my family members and my friends would approve of and be pleased with... and I wasn't always doing what I needed to do for myself. Is this selfish? Not necessarily. I think as a society we worry too much about what others are thinking of us to really focus on our own happiness and goals. We need to stop basing our life off of what makes others content. I've been told this is a selfish millennial trend, but I think it's imperative for people to take care of themselves first. Anson helped me discover the importance in this, and once I stopped caring so much about how I looked in the eyes of others, I became so much more...alive. Do people judge me for traveling so much? Yea, I think that's safe to say. But I don't regret a single trip I've taken and I've discovered a lot about myself and my own goals through my travels. Were some people upset to see me move to Florida? Yes, of course. But it was one of the best decisions of my life, as it opened the door for me to many new opportunities and I've met so many great people along the way. Did I feel like I was seen as a disappointment for not getting in my program of choice right out of college? I certainly felt that way. But here I am a few months away from a Master's degree, I'm still successful and maybe even living a better life than I would have been otherwise. After I realized that I shouldn't focus on these negatives and instead on my own goals and happiness, I realized that all these past doubts are so menial. Besides, it's so much easier for me to make others happy when I make sure I'm happy first. Everyone that's important in my life still loves and cares about me regardless of the path I took to get to where I am. All it took was someone like Anson. Someone who really doesn't look at every move I make in my life and analyze the potential consequences of each action. He's helped me to understand that I need to stop worrying about other people's perception of me, because it just weighs me down.

8. He taught me the importance of listening and learning.

I know this point is going to blow him out of the water. Because even he'll agree that he isn't always the BEST listener or the most eager to learn ;-) But I mean this in regards to listening and learning about the past through our elders. He is so intrigued by what the world was like before us and this has really allowed me to appreciate it as well. History was my least favorite subject in school. Learning about places around the world never interested me that much growing up. I never really found it relatable. But he's a major reason why that's changed. I used to only want to go on tropical vacations. Now I equally want to go on vacations where I can learn and experience the history of what took place there. I used to not be nearly as interested in hearing about my grandparents life growing up, or where my family came from. But anytime we visited my grandma and she got to talking about our family history, Anson would get so engulfed in the topic that it instilled a sense of need in me as well. He loves talking to older generations because he genuinely loves hearing their stories. He loves stopping at historical landmarks just so he can try to imagine what had happened there well before we came around. He helped me find a new appreciation for history and a greater meaning for what I value in life. I am grateful he unintentionally instilled these values in me. It means so much because it encouraged me to reach out to my grandma a lot before she unexpectedly passed away. I had some of the best conversations with her in the years before her death and I really got to know and understand where my family came from. Had I been uninterested, those are moments I would never be able to get back.

9. He taught me that absence really does make the heart grow fonder.

He indirectly taught me this, but I'm very convinced he's the only person in this world that could. We've never exactly had an easy relationship. We spent the first 3 years of our relationship long distance. Like, truly long distance. I used to think a distance relationship was 2 or more hours apart. Ha. I never could foresee myself dating someone who lived states away. But we knew we were right for each other, and we made it work. Lots of time apart, too many Skype dates to count, and various plane tickets bought to keep our relationship strong. I cried every time I left him at the airport after a visit those first couple years. It was hard. Not having your significant other close by is truly not easy. But man, did it make our time together that much more special. Now, when we finally live together, he's been sent away for training and has been deployed for almost 4 months, and I'd be lying if I said it's not that hard. But one thing I've learned from all of this is that I've grown to love him more every time we're apart. It helps me appreciate the good we have when we're together. It has allowed me to never take any date night, adventure or conversation we've had together for granted. It's also continuously confirmed that he is the one for me, because I know there's no other guy I could possibly go through this whirlwind of a life with.

10. He taught me to embody and spread positivity.

I've already described several ways that show how Anson is an overall positive person. But I cannot stress enough how this is literally the way he lives his life. He puts a positive spin on everything. He turns every awkward and uncomfortable situation into an uplifting and funny one. He will take the person sitting off to the side in a group and strike up a conversation with them to make them feel included and welcomed. He will comfort a stranger who is stressed out and upset. He will hug you, even if he isn't that close to you, if he sees you're going through a tough time. He started a website where the whole objective was to spread uplifting news, positivity, good vibes and laughter, because he thinks there's too much pessimism spread in the world nowadays. He does not waste time letting negativity embody his life and change who he is as a person. This is a quality that's so hard to come by. He's helped me mindfully practice this myself and it's really changed my outlook on a lot of things in life. I am so appreciative to be able to surround myself with his attitude and optimism because it has made me a better person.

Needless to say, I have been very blessed to spend half a decade with this man, and I'm so honored that I get to have him around for many years to come. I hope everyone can be fortunate enough to have a person like him in their lives. A person that has so much to offer. Or at the very least, be that person for someone else. Anson has genuinely affected my life for the better because to be my best self, I need my best partner.